Confusion

[lensman]

Hmmm It's been a confusing week

Last week A met up with a guy at Arisia. They hit it off and make plans to meet later.

Then durring the week A had an old flame call out of the blue, and drop in. They hadn't seen each other in years and met up after A got out of work. I wanted to give her some space and was fortunate enough to have B invite me out to dinner.

Later in the week I'm venting about bills to B, Who is in a different place from me financially. And she sweetly offers to help me out. The confusing part here is should I accept or not. Part of me wants to, but I don't want to add that as a complication to our relationship.

Yesterday I'm supposed to go to an Arisia mtg and A was going to meet up with the other guy. But due to the snow all of the schedules got fouled up. (I'm not sure I dealt well with the scheduling foul up, but I dealt)

Comments

confucius say re: confusion

[(Anonymous)]

Can't help ya with whatever might be confusing about A and Boi-A and Boi-B. (And what the heck is a "boi" as opposed to a boy? The flavor du jour?) As you know, this poly thang is only appealing to me intellectually, and out of dire necessity not enthusiastic choice. :-)

As for complicating our relationship with money. . . that's confusing because we haven't talked about our "relationship." If you're worried about still owing me money after we're no longer doing whatever it is that we're doing, or of doing it longer than you want to simply because you might owe me money. . . hmm, I'm not sure anything I say logically will be helpful. To each his own comfort zone there.

Meanwhile, I'm clear about MY relationship with money, at least. :-) The buck does not stop here. It passes through me. Some people give time, attention, love, caring, support, advice. I give all that AND on occasion it's money that helps more than all those things combined. We each give what we have to give.

I also resent like hell the power we invest in money. It's a thing, an object. It's to be used. It has no hold over us, no value except what we project onto it. I know, easy for me to say, since I'm not the one who's beholden. But I am, though: to my family, first, and to Lady Luck who deigned to sprinkle just a little extra fairy dust my way. I think it's because she knew I'd realize the true value, and know what to do with it! Use my power for good, not evil! Maawhaahahahahahahahahahahah!

:-)

B
[who's always preferred men to boys, even when she was a just a slip of a girl]

Re: confucius say re: confusion

[lensman.livejournal.com]

I know I was mostly just trying to sort out my own thoughts on this.... I understand where your comming from re: poly, and I hope you're ok, and that the "dire" needs are being met.

As for the diff between boi and boy.... You've got me I'm not sure what the difference is.

Re the money: I agree with you 99.99%. I'm just trying to figure out what my comfort zone there is. Also I don't resent money or the power we as a culture invest in it, because it is only a thing, a tool, with no more effect than we let it have. But we do let it have that effect, and like any tool I try to be careful with it. Not only so that I don't get hurt, but so that others also don't get hurt.

Re: confucius say re: confusion

[(Anonymous)]

Well, money is one thing, and has nothing to do with feelings. Or shouldn't. Feelings have nothing to do with the money. Mostly depends on how the personal relationship ends (or changes). If that's done with respect and compassion, then money is just so much water under the bridge. :-)

My ex fiance owed me $2,000 when we split. It didn't bother me until a year later when he'd made NO payments at all, not even a token "I haven't forgotten" $5. As I was the one who'd financed his computer set-up that led him to meet his new internet love he'd dumped me for. . . well, as you may imagine *that* got complex, feelings-wise. :-) When he finally paid it (I had to ask for it), he wrote "Now we're even." Hah! Hardly. Hmmm, yes, I'm beginning to see your point about money and the feelings invested. Maybe it's just one more thing I'm in denial about? To be continued. . .

Of course "dire" needs are not being met! That's one major drawback to poly -- you just can't please all of the people all of the time. :-) But you warned me about that so. . . can't say I can blame you for not being in two places at once. :-) Not much to do about that one except either clone yourself, or have only lovers who have other lovers to fill in the gaps, no pun intended :-) Or have only lovers that are really low maintenance or low It's a snaggle, not to be solved in this lifetime. :-/

yannow, I'd have these conversations privately. . . but you never answer my e-mails anymore. heheheh

Re: confucius say re: confusion

[(Anonymous)]

"Have only loves who are really low maintenance or low" was NOT the image I was going for. :-) The sentence was s'posed to end at "low maintenance." I.e., no needs, wants, desires, expectations, hopes, dreams, fantasies, insecurities, layers, urges. You know, someone you probably wouldn't be interested in to begin with, they'd be so one-dimensional and cow-like in demeanor, lol!

B

Re: confucius say re: confusion

[(Anonymous)]

hmmmmm sometimes it's the application of the 'tool' that has the greatest impact, aside from the intent (which, of course, can be ultimately THE most important variable LOL)..............in more ways than one ..............life is toooooooooo short; enjoy the 'ride'

s <of alphabet soup

Re: confucius say re: confusion

[(Anonymous)]

hmmmmm sometimes it's the application of the 'tool' that has the greatest impact, aside from the intent (which, of course, can be ultimately THE most important variable LOL)..............in more ways than one ..............life is toooooooooo short; enjoy the 'ride' s <of alphabet soup